parents should not take away cell phones without any reason from their children. To them it’s unjust. Read more about Cathie at CathieEricsonWriter.com. It is hard to accept that the real reason children misuse technology is because the rules and boundaries regarding it in the home are not working any more. I’m 17, I bought my iPhone at 15 when I had a job and could pay for it. A child coming across two iPads and claiming immediate ownership of both begins to equate this to “extra good” behavior. Featuring the most sought after experts in their fields. I saw the birth of some of the first mainstream gaming consoles. Some 65% of … The pressure to create a successful human can feel crippling at times. On the other side of the argument lies in the belief that taking smartphones away can be counterproductive. Let’s step back just a bit before we go on with this topic. “You took away my phone,” he said. Everything in Moderation: Cell Phones are Bad for You, 5 Ways Smartphones Have Changed Your Love Life, Originally appeared on www.goboldfish.com. Once a child is speaking and walking around freely, parents are faced with the struggle of finding an effective balance between discipline and leeway. And get them back only when they passed their exams with good marks. You're afraid they'll look at your caller history. However, when a parent limits their child’s screen time, they are taking away their child’s independence. This reward system can be common among permissive parents who don’t realize that offering up more screentime, despite their children wanting it, may be destructive and unhealthy. With tracking technologies such as mSpy, Teen Safe, Family Tracker, and others, parents can monitor calls, texts, chats, and social media posts. constantly taking your teens phone will … Consider doing the same. “Really strict parents taking their kid’s phone to check all their texts and also checking all their internet history on their computer. Being notoriously inclined to fall into rebellious stages, they might withdraw from their punishers even more. It quickly became an addiction that proved to affect performance i… Smart parenting means knowing when not to respond. When the situation arises where you feel like you should take away your child’s phone, consider these alternatives. Receive our weekly newsletter with the latest articles, media, and resources. Think of your child the same way. Taking their door off their room after a certain age. Right. Oh. It’s perceived to have contributed to a group of adolescents dubbed as the “me” generation. I wasn’t angry at her for taking it, because I understood she was just upset with me and that was my punishment. So why is it right for my parents to take away something I pay for on a monthly basis. For the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), one of the best methods you can use is to just let things play out. It's no longer simply a tool of distraction — technology access has become a means of behavioural control. Adults can barely handle the awesome, dangerous technology provided by smartphones. Make the punishment fit the crime. We’ll also asses which types of parents are more likely to take away their child’s phone or not. Parents, Put Down Your Smart Phones New research shows negative effects of smartphone use in front of children . Prior to that she was a writer at a renowned travel blog. While this may look like an effective deterrent against unfavorable behavior, many question its validity. So, you might disable the social media or texting function if your teen needs to use the phone for homework. This is when kids started spending excessive time playing video games. This means parents taking away the thing that kids feel attached to the most — their phone — as a form of punishment. For instance, if the child was practicing bad table manners, confiscating their phone seems to be an irrelevant consequence. Parents are Face-timing their kids while they are away on school trips these days! Children shouldn’t be anywhere near it. Parents are also feeling anxious, but for different reasons. EMAIL. Cathie Ericson is a freelance writer based in Portland, Oregon, and mom of three teen boys. “I like the Verizon Smart Family app because it lets me get a picture of when and how she’s using her phone without having to totally invade her privacy,” Spillman says. a breakdown of the parent-child relationship. With the prominence of (and resulting reliance on) technology in our children’s lives, it’s absence becomes a tool in discipline. Its beauty is in its simplicity since your child gets to experience the effects of their actions or behavior first-hand. “Don’t be afraid to let your teen help with these guidelines, and make concessions to let them have a few wins,” he says. Contrary to popular parental belief, phone confiscation has NO effect.” #ParentFail. Parents take away cell phones from children only on base of any reason like fail in exams or get low grads. This also applies to cell phone use as a form of enablement. Many parents — maybe even the vast majority of them — will disagree with what I’m about to say. After all, what do they value more than their phones? And if that’s your go-to punishment, you’re not alone. Your Teen Is Using the Phone While Driving. “In today’s world, the phone often provides a primary source of access to both social support and necessary data for school and extracurricular activities,” Dodgen-Magee says. Ask your teenager to stash his or her phone out of the bedroom at night (say, after 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. depending on your teenager’s typical bedtime). I think they shouldn't because cell phones aren't just for fun they could be used to call your parents in case you get lost or something. Parents face endless challenges raising children. You haven’t been told your privileges, expectations or been given any guidelines. If you are like many parents, your first instinct is to restrict the thing they love the most, which is communication with their peers and the dependence they have on their phones. Screen time addiction happens when we fail with the rules. if you don’t give them instructions and expectations (a verbal contract if you will) you cannot expect them not to make mistakes, and scolding them wouldn’t be fair. Except they didn't just "hold on" to the phones -- they deleted each and every video of the incident recorded by students. Teen sleep cycles are being disrupted by smartphones, with more than a third waking up to check their devices during the night — … The next time you go on holiday as a family, they will take pictures and keep them forever. If you must take a phone away, offer alternatives. They may have been relaxed or they were not being enforced properly. This may not be ideal for children below the age of 12 as they begin to associate technological use as a healthy habit. In fact, the research shows that teenagers (and adults) who use screens at night are getting up to an hour less sleep per night. In other words, don’t arbitrarily take away the phone for an unrelated infraction, like missing curfew. First of all you probably never would. 4 Things to Consider, The Most Popular Apps for Teenagers: What’s Hot, What’s Not, What is the Fortnite Game? In other words, a screen is like a wake up call for our brains. Here’s some advice on how to use this technique effectively. Children today get their first cell phone younger than ever before. Two days later, I texted to alert him to a change in pick-up plans and was incensed when he didn’t respond. If the consequence is having their phone taken away, chances are they won’t use it. for 3 days! “These days, you really have to implement this type of punishment thoughtfully.”. If your teen is having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. “They don’t try to solve their problem. They can view maps of every location a child (and his phone) has traveled. Sit down with your child and lay out the rules and the consequences. So take it because a child is on it instead of studying, using it at inappropriate times (at meals, when others are in their presence), using when driving, etc. For Dr. Beth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Westminster, Colorado, this creates the potential for emotional backlash and a breakdown of the parent-child relationship.Instead, make the punishment “fit the crime.” Appropriate situations to confiscate a phone would be then when bad behavior is related to the use of the device. A 2016 Pew Research Center report finds that 65 percent of parents take away cell phones or Internet privileges as punishment. “If they’re part of a group study chat, you can’t allow them to fail or let down the team,” says Newman. For instance, if you don’t want them using their phones on the dinner table, then talk to them about it beforehand. At the forefront of the traditionalist argument lies the notion of helicopter parenting, i.e. Phones are the new night light. Never letting them go anywhere unless the parent knows exactly where they are going and who they will be with and what they will be doing the entire time. Yes. Thinking of your own cell phone use, do you use it as an alarm? They do not associate this as a mere “my behavior was out of line, that’s why my phone got taken away.”Instead, they fixate on the idea that they no longer have a phone. You may find you all sleep better. “Simply taking a phone away from your teenager would be like taking away the support of a bridge with nothing in its place.”. A Civic Science survey revealed that 64% of US parents admit their ultimate threat to their children is to limit screen time or take away their phone. Ask the Expert: Should I Take Away My Teen’s Cell Phone at Night. Whereas taking away their phones for example will make their kid just want to do it again once they’re not in trouble anymore. I didn't understand why they would say such a thing. But not only do they take my phone, they go in and they read all of my texts … Additionally, this type of arrangement puts emphasis on the “use” of the devices rather than “quality use.”. 13-year-old Khloey Summers says that by the time she got her phone back, her messaging apps and photos had also been opened. Join us for an 8-week series to help parents navigate the college process. The time to set parameters is before the infraction, says Dr. Larry Rosen, professor emeritus and past chair of the psychology department at California State University, Dominguez Hills and author of Rewired: Understanding the iGeneration and the Way They Learn. They don’t talk to the parent,” Dr. Peters says. Parents should take away their child’s cell phone at night. This is defined by the sense of entitlement parents have inadvertently imbued, priming children to believe they will eventually always get what they want. A cell phone is a must for me because at my dad's house he doesn't have a home phone so if he leaves me and my sister home alone we wouldn't be able to call him in case something happened. I need to be in my room by 10 my phone … If she was on the phone while driving the golf cart … then taking the phone away gives a solid message. nenetus - Shutterstock ... 92% of all adults in the U.S. have a cell phone as well as approximately 85% of middle schoolers. Khloey's mother, Melissa Siegel, is furious, as are several other parents. These living room computers were made for one, and only one reason – playing games. I Still Don’t Know What Happens on the Count of Three, I Had a Baby With My Ex In the Middle of His Mid-Life Crisis, 92% of teens go online daily, with 24% saying. Taking a phone is a powerful discipline tool, no doubt. Surveys showthat 65 per cent of American parents with teenagers confiscate phones or remove internet privileges as a form of punishment. Do you feel like ripping the phone away because your teen is glued to it at family dinner or texting well past bedtime? The light emitted by the typical screen inhibits the production of melatonin in our brains. Sit down together to discuss proper use of the phone, inviting your teen’s perspective as well, and create a list of phone behaviors with rewards for good behaviors and punishments for bad ones. Meanwhile, if your teen mentions suicide, wanting to die, or that life is just not worth it, forget snooping and seek medical help right away. But here goes: As parents, we should never routinely monitor our kids online.We shouldn’t browse through social media accounts, read their texts or emails, use a tracking device on a child, track their cellphone, monitor their text messages, or track their location. I am a 14 yr old and I have a bedtime for me and my phone. We need to learn to limit ourselves; otherwise when we are adults, we will struggle with this. Why are we as parents so concerned with being able to be in constant communication with our kids? If your teen can’t resist replying to a text message when … Eileen Spillman doesn’t take away her 14-year-old daughter’s phone as a punishment, but she sets limits when the phone is causing a problem—like when her daughter is late to school because she was on social media. In fact, mobile phones have become the go-to item for parents to take away when punishing their children. “If parents act as if the situation is a big deal and act disappointed, this will cause their children to not participate in the act again. Even as an adult the situation would be irresponsible and you’d most likely end up messing up. “Why didn’t you acknowledge my texts?” I demanded when we were finally reunited. COMMENTS. Is Cell Phone Addition Affecting Relationships? Keeping cell phones in a common area can also cut down on behavioral problems and disorders caused by too much cell phone use. But my recent research suggests this … Rosen says most people can’t go an hour without getting anxious if their smartphone is taken away. whenever you do take our phones we will always easily find a way around it. I got into a fight with my mom right before I went to my dad’s house (they're divorced) and she demanded that I give her my phone. I think it’s very unhealthy. This this is a combo of permissive parenting and authoritarian parenting. Lilac on December 28, 2018: Parents take phones away for specific reasons. It's not like you've been talking to anyone they wouldn't … And if they come right away, they can have an extra few minutes at night. Doing so allows children to complete homework without distractions and sleep soundly without disruptions. 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